I'm on fire!?! Watch out! :-)

I just read a helpful article by Marianne Weidlein, a wise business consultant and personal coach, who happens to live in Ashland, Oregon (where I live). The article is called What Is Transmutation?

Transmutation is a change from one form or condition to another. An example is the biological transmutation of a caterpillar larva into an adult butterfly. The human parallel is a major change in consciousness. I am currently going through transmutation. I am trying to avoid negatively reacting to bad experiences.

So, what am I going to do about this goal? The article says it takes practice, and that seems believable. Every new skill takes practice. So I'm going to watch myself, watch my reactions. When I see the habitual negativity cropping up, I will intentionally turn it around, spin it 180 degrees and practice seeing the positive aspects of the situation.

The article says that the world around me may remain unchanged, the people in my life still trapped in the throes of negative habits. This is a good reminder. I should keep in mind that people around me aren’t also necessarily transmuting. As the article suggests, I will meet these realities with acceptance, compassion, and strength. 

One thing that came up while reading the article was my reactions to the gender discrimination I faced. The situation wasn’t good, but I can't let it limit me. I can't imagine anything worse than spending any more time being a victim. I have so much to give, to offer. I want to help others. I don't want to be some angry feminist. I love men. I have compassion for the problems they've had in their lives. I can’t rely on just compassion though. I have to maintain my integrity and stand up for myself also.

The main point of Weidlein’s article is that we can transmute. It's difficult, but doable, and beautiful in the long run. Birds and bugs try to eat the larva while it's transmuting. I've experienced that. Oh dear, there I go with negativity again. And… here I go with practicing positivity. Right now I'm moving the signpost 180 degrees, flipping it back in the positive direction.

I'm a visual person. I found the image above on the web. It has to do with fire danger, but I'm going to use it for my purposes. For me the low means low power, low self-esteem, low compassion, low positivity. It means reacting with lowbrow negativity and criticism of others. When I find myself having this habitual low reaction, I’m going to mentally move that arrow to the right. I will gently recondition myself. I want extreme positivity, joy, compassion, and highbrow reactions, or at least high positivity, joy, compassion, and highbrow reactions! :-) I will love with fire in my belly. I will have red-hot passion for what I do and can achieve. I think I’m liking that I stumbled upon a fire metaphor. But the main thing to remember right now is my ability to flip that arrow to the RIGHT.

Of firewalls, users, and marital bliss

When is user friendliness more important than security? I've been discussing this with my dear hubby (DH), pictured with me in the photo on the left taken by Orville Hector, an Ashland, Oregon photographer.

I would say the answer is never. Security is always more important than user friendliness. But, of course, there is the old axiom that if security is too hard to use, people will bypass it, leaving their system really insecure.

I'm having a friendly disagreement with my DH. His software-based personal firewall product lets a user add the following rules, with one click of the mouse on a button having to do with protecting UDP services:

allow log tcp from any to any dst-port 53 in setup
allow udp from any to any dst-port 53 in
allow log tcp from any to any dst-port 67-68 in setup
allow udp from any to any dst-port 67-68 in
allow log tcp from any to any dst-port 123 in setup
allow udp from any to any dst-port 123 in

Why would a personal firewall allow traffic into port 53 (DNS server)? Luckily that port will be closed on most personal computers, but still it seems risky and unnecessary. And why allow traffic into port 67? That's the port used by a DHCP server, not a client. The client uses UDP 68. Allowing traffic into UDP port 123, it turns out, is necessary for NTP to work. Both the client and server use UDP port 123. But the rest of the rules are unnecessary and unsafe, in my opinion. And what's with the TCP rules appearing because I clicked on a button related to UDP?

My DH's answer? Users get confused and complain if you don't allow those ports. Something goes wrong with their firewall or their computer, (or they knock over the cable modem and kick out the power cord, I'm thinking), and they claim that it's because the firewall doesn't allow DHCP and DNS. What kind of pseudo-technical user would say that, I wonder, but my DH stubbornly refuses to agree with me. At least he agrees on other things in our life, like I'll do the dishes if he cooks. :-)

My DH's most important goal with his product is ease of use for non-technical users (as well as pseudo-technical users, it seems), and I can understand that. The usability/security tradeoff is an important consideration, but I think my brilliant husband's brain may be tipping too far into the iFruit mentality. :-) Or maybe he just got sick of the tech support calls like this:

Caller: Is the Internet down?
DH: um, no

Caller: Are your servers having a problem?
DH: um, no

Caller: Well, I think it's your firewall then. I can't get an IP. Your firewall doesn't allow DHCP and DNS.
DH: um, ok, we'll change the firewall software...

Me: hunh?

Vote for Woz!

Steve Wozniak needs your vote to stay on Dancing with the Stars! He's a bit of a klutz, but he's so persistent and gallant, that you just have to vote for him. Once the show begins Monday at 8 pm (7 Central), text message VOTE 3410 (from your iPhone of course) or vote online or call 800-868-3410 until noon (Eastern time) Tuesday. The photo of Woz was taken by Al Luckow.  Can you believe Apple thought the upside-down Apple was OK? Don't blame the Woz for that decision though. :-)

Five Top Myths About the Computer Field

Oh dear, I seem to be on my pulpit again. :-) I've been thinking a lot about a question I heard offline from a couple of women after my previous post. They asked why should young women study computer science if the computer field is dominated by immature males and discrimination against women. I would like to address that question and other myths I have heard over the years about the computer field.

Myth #1. There's so much discrimination in the computer field that women can't get ahead. That's not true. Yes, there's discrimination, but it makes women in the field stronger, not weaker. As a woman, you may have to work harder than the men who get unearned privileges. But there's a silver lining in that cloud. It will make you better at your work and more agile. If you find yourself in a job where the good old boys won't give you a chance, leave. The good news is that the hard work you did will make you qualified for many other jobs.

Myth #2. It's young, geeky, conceited guys who work in the computer field. This is partially true, but there are a lot of mature, non-geeky men and women also. Plus, the young smart-alecs can be funny, and they are trainable.

Myth #3. Heard from a parent: "Why should my daughter study computer science? She's already good with the computer." First of all, don't say "the computer." It dates you. :-) Kids these days are good with computers, whether it's Mac OS, Windows, Linux, or the mainframe that runs the cash registers where they sell lattes to overpaid executives who don't pay enough taxes to fund schools so your kid can get a better job. Computer science isn't about "using the computer." It's about creating the technology that makes computers function. 

Myth #4. Women are motivated by social responsibility and helping people. The computer field isn't about helping people. Try telling that to Dawn Taylor, Ph.D. who works on brain-machine interfaces for prosthetics that restore movement for paralyzed people. Try telling that to Latanya Sweeney, Ph.D. who is dedicated to creating technologies and related policies with provable guarantees of privacy protection while allowing society to collect and share sensitive information for worthy purposes. Or take me. Please take me. :-) I got into computer networking not just because I love hardware, systems engineering, and network design. I got into it because it enables people around the world to communicate and collaborate. I didn't work at Cisco just because of good stock options. I worked there because Cisco understands that it's the human network that makes a difference.

Myth #5. All the jobs are moving to India, China, Kazakhstan, etc. Globalization is real. It's here to stay. But this is good for computer scientists! We build the technology that makes the post-geographic world possible. There are still lots of jobs in the US. However, maybe your job will be in Bangalore or Dubai for a few years. Cool! You may have colleagues in Brazil, Israel, Malaysia, Germany, the US, and countries you have never heard of. Way cool.

Finally, I would say, do what you love. If you were born a nerd, you'll know. You'll know you're happiest when solving problems, tinkering with devices, or writing software. You'll know that you enjoy configuring the family's home network, or fixing Grandpa's computer, or designing a code so you can communicate with friends in a way that non-friends won't understand. When you're doing what you should be doing, time goes by more quickly than expected. You feel energized and curious about what you're learning. Yes, there will be frustrations when your software/hardware won't do what it's supposed to do. But if you feel a sense of accomplishment when you work around those frustrations, you may be a nerd, and this is a good thing.

Artists see paintings in their heads. Musicians' brains play music. Social scientists analyze people. Natural athletes pick up sports right away. Perhaps you do some of these things too, but if you also solve logic problems in your head, and think in terms of numbers and databases and systems and communications, you may be a computer nerd. Join us! Please! We need you.

Why So Few Women in the Computer Field? A message for the guys

A lot of paper, hot air, and numerous bits and bytes have been used in the last few years to discuss why more women aren't going into computer-related fields. Scholarly papers, NY Times articles, science magazines, blog posts, and online forums have all discussed the problem.

Some articles claim it's because women aren't as technically-savvy or as interested in technology as men. Nonsense. Some articles say that women are too smart to go into a field where all the jobs are moving to India. Nonsense. Women are smart (and practical about supporting their families), but all the jobs aren't moving to India. This is especially true for network engineering. Someone has to be back here in the US to make sure the pointy-haired managers and marketing dweebs can communicate with the software sweat shops in India. Just kidding!

There's lots of work to be done and we need the women. It's crazy to tap into only 50% of the population. We face enormous challenges with digital video, virtual reality, neural prosthetics, bioinformatics, IPv4 running out addresses, BGP scalability, network security, online privacy, medical records management, energy grid modernization, and getting the inter-galactic Internet up and running.

Most of the scholarly papers, NY Times articles, etc., don't talk about the elephant in the room: the computer field hosts many men who discriminate against women. In addition, many men in the field communicate in bizarre Mars-like ways that are confusing to those of us from Venus. The field has many nice men too, of course, and many highly intelligent, hard-working and ethical men who have social skills and good grooming techniques, but it can't be denied that there's much room for improvement in the male nerd population.

I would like to give some advice to men in the computer field, especially those who say they would like to see more women in the field:

• Please bathe every day. Yes, every day. :-)
  
• Doing laundry can be fun. Do it early and often. Bring entertainment so it's not so boring. iPhones are good for this.
  
• It's OK to say "I don't know" when you don't know something.
  
• Don't puff yourself up into a big balloon. A lot of us women simply can't help ourselves -- we will prick the balloon and it won't be pretty.
  
• Don't hire your male cronies when more qualified women have inquired about the job.
  
• It's not OK to say, "The department would hire a woman if they could find a qualified one with nice boobs." (A colleague told me that, though he used a different word than boobs. This was in 2008, by the way. I'm not talking about the 70s here.)
  
• It's OK to occasionally compliment a woman on her clothes. It's not OK to comment on her clothes, hair, or earrings every single day.
  
• Please give us eye contact when talking to us.
  
• An occasional glance at the boobs is probably normal. I admit that, especially when I'm nervous, I occasionally glance below the belt. Staring is not OK, however.
  
• It's illegal and unethical to hire your auto mechanic buddy because you "want to give him a chance" when a qualified female engineer is vying for the work.
  
• It's not OK to say that women will never get ahead because too many decisions are made in the men's room. A colleague told me that. He'd be surprised at all the decisions that are made in the women's room, including the one where the women engineers decided that he's an idiot.
  
• Try to listen to what we say and then comment based on what you heard.
  
• Don't spend the entire time we're talking figuring out how you're going to refute what we said. Once in a while we actually say something right and useful.
  
• Please comment your code.
  
• We aren't competing for your job (usually). Give us a break. There's enough work to go around.
  
• If we ask a question, it means we are interested in having a technical discussion. Please don't reply with patronizing attempts to "help the little lady understand."
  
• Equal employment opportunity -- it's the law.
  
• Don't ask women who are in the computer field why there aren't more women. We can't explain someone else's point of view. Ask the women who aren't going into the field.
  
• Recruit those women who aren't going into computer fields. A lot of very smart women go into biology, chemistry, medicine, library science, criminology, and the law. Recruit them!
  
• It's not OK to say, "She got the job because she has sex appeal." (A colleague told me that in reference to a recent female hire who had a 4.0 grade-point average from one of the best colleges in the world, with a major in physics and a minor in computer science. He, by the way, never finished college.)
  
• Give credit where credit is due. You'll do a lot of your own work and it will be good. You don't need to make it look like your female colleague's work is yours.
  
• Please don't wear cologne. Deodorant, on the other hand, is a good thing.
  
• And finally, please work out at the gym. We like to look at buff guys fixing our computers. Just kidding!

Vanity, thy name is woman

I doubt that I am the only one who does this. Sometimes when I'm bored I do what I call  "vanity Googling." I Google myself. It can be quite revealing. A couple months ago, when I was really bored, I decided to vanity Google my maiden name. I was more wild and crazy in my unmarried youth, and I thought it might be good to verify that no youthful indiscretions have popped up on the Internet. Well, one thing led to another, and I found myself at Intelius's site clicking yes, I'd like to spend $0.75 to find out more... Oh, you need a credit or debit card? Well, here's my debit card number. Dumb, dumb, dumb. 

For one thing, you don't get anything of use for 75 cents. (Duh.) Worse, Intelius fraudulently bills people for more services than they ordered. Luckily, I very carefully check my credit/debit card statements. First thing I noticed was that they charged me $0.95, not $0.75 for the one-time report. Well, no big deal, I thought. What's 20 cents?

But then I discovered that Itelius had also charged me $19.95 for their monthly service! I very carefully did not click on any button that authorized them to charge me for a monthly service.

I called my bank and canceled the card and am disputing the charge. In the process, I found out that Intelius had also charged me another monthly fee, so I'm disputing that too. Turns out it's all over the Internet that Intelius is doing this to others too. So, lessons learned:

1. Research services before you buy them. Duh. 
2. Don't buy stupid stuff on the Internet. Save your money for useful things like clothes, shoes, hair products, books, and electronic gadgets.
   
3. Use a credit card, not a debit card. Debit cards don't offer as much protection against fraudulent use as credit cards do. With most credit cards, you're only liable for a small amount. Not so with debit cards. Also, you're in a better position to dispute charges with a credit card because the scum bags don't have your money yet, whereas they do with a debit card.
4. If it sounds too good to be true (a report for 75 cents), it probably is too good to be true.
   
5. Don't waste time on vanity Googling! Google other people instead. 

Growing Up Right-Brained in a Left-Brained World

I've been wondering if more makers of things are right-brained or left-brained. I think a lot of them are right-brained, like me, but possibly more are left-brained. Let me tell you it's not easy being a right-brained nerd because so many nerds are left-brained: they think sequentially; they make lists; they remember codes and acronyms; they look at the parts rather than the holistic picture; and they are a bit condescending to us right-brainers.

I'm used to being a right-brained person in a left-brained world. My Dad (shown in the picture) is probably left-brained. In addition, I'm pretty sure that my mother, my numerous siblings, my cousins and aunts and uncles, all our cats (of which we had 18 at one point), and even our poor, neglected dogs were probably all left-brained. There I was, in the middle of all these logical, analytical, verbal braniacs (well, except for the dogs), lost in my world of imagination and art. It wasn't easy, I tell you (with tongue placed firmly in cheek).

So, I wondered how to explain the difference. I wonder if Blogger will let me post a table...

Me	My family
Forget words, jokes, idioms	Capacious vocabulary (and they would know what that means without a dictionary!)
Surround myself with expensive furniture, nice art, clean lines, no clutter	Books, magazines, ashtrays, clothing scattered everywhere; Good Will furniture
Artistic	Musical
Kandinsky, Klee, Miro, Rauschenberg, Rothoko	Adam Smith, Karl Marx, Aristotle
Brown eyes	Blue eyes (well except my Dad, who has brown eyes, and my twin brother who has hazel eyes)
Math, art, poetry, literature	Languages, history, economics, political science, biochemistry
Bad at games except for Mastermind, Risk, and Four Square	Good at all games especially Scrabble, Boggle, Scattergories, Checkers, and all those other games that I consistently lost
Dreamy, imaginative, grumpy in the morning, need lots of time alone	Togetherness, music competitions, awake at 5 am! Argh!
Made my own paper dolls with paper, pencil, and scissors	Ran with scissors
Hate MS Excel	My mother was one of the first users of Lotus 123 and still talks about how much she loved it!
Can't imagine anything worse than doing my own taxes (except Death)	Actually enjoy doing their own taxes
Big-hearted	Also big-hearted! Thank-goodness.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3	What are those silly squigglies? Sideways hearts??